How to manage your worries? 2 – step guide to improve your problem solving skills

Learn How to improve your problem solving skills. Learn to be more happy, productive, successful and independent. Learn how you can help others solve their problems.

Advertisements

Problem solving skills are among the most demanded skills when one appears for interviews for jobs. You certainly understand that if you have these skills, you can beat of a large section of competition. 

In our personal life, we come accross a lot of problems on daily basis. Sometimes it feels that the problems aren’t going to end till your last breath. That feels most of us with worry and agony. We spend a large amount of our time and energy in getting our those problems. Gladly, there are methods to solve these petty issues. Lets take a look at 2 step problem solving guide recommend by Dale Carnegie in his book “stop worrying and start living”.
1. Ask yourself- “what are you worried about ?”

You may find this step quite funny. Especially because, you were worried about the problem. However, try to write down this problem in the form of a statement. Try something like this ‘I am worried that I will not be able to create my Android app on time.’

Now, you might have different worries troubling you at the same time. Author suggests, you can write all of them on paper in the form of statements. 

When you will be through with this step you will find out that they are not so frenetic now. You will start thinking about the problem as it is. 
2. Ask yourself – “What can be done about it?”

Write down all the solutions that come to your mind. For example in my case-

A) I can put extra efforts everyday for one week and that can complete my project on time.

B) I can ask my colleague to collaborate 

C) I can take help from online app buildings  sites.

D) I can ask for one week extension.
When you make a list, you start finding that you can solve it. Your mindset shifts from thinking about problems to problem solving. Believe me, mindset is the key to problem solving.

Do let me known your thoughts on it.

Life Is Like a Train #TheMeaningfulAnalogy

Life Is very much like a train. As it happens in a train journey, the quality of journey depends on the compartment we travel in. Similarly, the quality of life is determined by which class we choose to live in. I believe, the decision as to which compartment you wish to travel in lies with the traveller. So does the

I have been really lucky to get in touch with a few influential people. What influenced me to the core was their ability to deal with situations; their way of interacting with people and their understanding about life. One thing was very much common among the influential people I got to be with. They were all sure about what they were going to do the next day. They were sure about what they wanted to do, to have and to achieve in long term as well.

In the seminar I attended a couple of days back, I was amazed by the understanding of life by the speaker. He understood one thing for sure, we do not have to understand the life. Because, we can’t. Nobody can’t. But yes, we surely can analyse it.

Let’s hear it in speakers own words. He said, “as I look at it, life is like a Train. I will tell you why I think so. Like a Train, all of us have our journeys fixed. All of us will begin (birth) at the same point and will reach to the same destination  (death). Like a moving train, all of us will gradually grow old. There is no way we can reverse it. Like stations that come on the rail journey, all of us will go through different stages of life. And now, here is the thing I would like everyone to focus upon. Because, according to me, this is the most important part of the train journey. It is sure that all of us will reach to the same destination, but the secret is, when we will reach the destination all of us will give different reactions. You know why? Because we will travel in different compartments. Those who travelled in general class, they will complain that they are tired in the journey. They did not get the place to sit. There was no hygiene. And they did not enjoy the beauty of nature from the window. However, those who travelled in first class, they will enjoy the journey. They enjoy the comforts of the air conditioning and privacy. They enjoy the views from the window.”

There is actually no difference in all of us but how we choose to lead our life. Decide in which class you would like to lead your life. 

Remember To Smile #DoItNow

I read an article today. The article was written to the point and made me think about my smiling habits. The analysis gave me some necessary outputs. Read on to find out how it can be important for you as well.

In my opinion and experiences, nothing is more contagious than smile of the person you love, your friends and acquaintances, people you deal with on daily basis, people you work with and even the novices you see on the streets. That’s the #BeautyOfSmiles.


I came upon this thought today when I read the chapter from book titled Succeed Yourself by Richard Denny. In the chapter, author has emphasized on importance of smiling in all new perspectives. Here are some of the perspectives I liked :

1) Smiling takes lesser muscles than frowning. That simply meant our faces won’t be wrinkled soon if we smile more often. That also meant we will look more beautiful. 

2) The author has pointed out on smiling without any reasons. Yes, there is a difference between smiling and laughter. 

3) How about starting your day with a #Smile?

4) smiling person is automatically perceived as confident, passionate and friendly. 

5) Smile and negative thoughts will be at arms distance from you.

6) Everyone loves to speak with smiling person. Do you like to speak with a jolly person or serious one?

After reading the articles, I went on to do the analysis of my smiling habits? How often I smiled? With whom I smiled? And I was not so happy with what I found.

The first thing is these days I don’t smile much. I wear kind of a grave look on my face these days. The reason behind this is my distorted relationships with my colleagues. I have decided to improve the relationships now. I realky like my smiling face.

I have become too serious in my personal life as well. I love my wife a lot. But when am sharing time with her, my mind is almost always occupied with something or other. I don’t smile so much with her as well. This is a grave serious observation. I will make it a point to handle things with smiling face. Starting this moment itself.

I think a small change in ourselves on daily basis can make us better, happier and more importantly, stronger. What are your views about it?

Can You Help Me With Your Views #HowToThink

I have come accross some negative changed in me. I am walking towards my own good. However, the changes I have imbibed are drawing negative views. Now I request you to help me with how I should deal with my current thoughts.

About a fortnight back, my female boss took time out of her busy schedule to praise me. She said that I was quite #Cool. I do not care so much about crap things. According to her my nature of avoiding conflicts was so great. I certainly liked the way she had praised me for who I was.

 Two days back my manager took time out of his busy schedule to counsel me. He told me that I need to be more focused on my career. He also added that I was very casual in my behaviour and I needed to change it. He said that I do not take things so seriously as I should. He put things in bitter way. But I liked it that he took time to advise me for my own good.

I was praised only a fortnight back for my qualities. Two days back, for the same qualities, I was counselled to improve myself. However, like always my mind took the negative #Criticism more seriously. I started thinking about what had gone wrong in last fortnight. 

Surprisingly, both of my bosses were right. I found out that I was a changed man from what I was a fortnight back. I had become kind of disjointed from people around me. I am a peace loving person. In order to keep peace I had completely separated myself from some people. Unfortunately, these people were part and parcel of my daily routine. When I separated myself from them and started maintaining distance, I started becoming bitter.

I have become bitter and more more focused now. Thinking about what it is, I don’t really know whether this change is good or bad. What’s the criteria to categories the behaviour? Can you help me with your suggestions? 

How To Deal With Past #MakePeace

Early morning today I felt very sad for my past actions. What happened in the morning kept me sad the whole day. By the time I returned from my office, i was pretty fed up with my mood. So, I took a pen and paper and made a critical analysis of the situation.

Not everyone has got a past he can look at with pride. Not everyone has got memories he wants to reminiscent. Not everyone cherishes his childhood as many poets paint it. I belong to those people who struggled with their past. Needless to say, I wish to #ForgetEverything for good.

Today when I sat down to do the Pranayama exercises, three people in their late sixties got themselves places to sit near to me. Healthy morning is a great way to start the day. I always look forward to it. But what happened today disturbed my mind for rest of The day.

The people were discussing about what their sons and daughters were doing. Surprisingly they had all the successful children born to them. When I overheard their discussion, inadvertently I became sad. I belong to those children whose parents will never be proud of them. I belong to those children who have crushed their parents’ wishes forever. Sadly enough, some of my actions have caused great pain to them. When I heard those people speak, I felt guilty. I knew that I can’t change anything. Nevertheless I felt sad. What happened in the morning engulfed my soul with sadness for rest of the day. The gloomy clouds of guilt hovered on my mind the whole day. I couldn’t smile at all.

When I came back from office, these are the things I noted down. These things made me #FeelBetter and #GuiltFree.

1) I can’t change what I have done. So it’s better for me to forget them and convenient for them if I don’t remind them.

2) In some cases, I had taken right decision. However, their expectations were not to my liking. In those cases, had I taken decisions as per their expectations, I would have blamed them for whole life. That would have been worse.

3) I took some crucial decisions and hid them from my parents. I feared their anger. It is fairly normal.

4) Our egos clashed and the relationship was tarnished. I have an option and will to change everything, but I fear That they will not accept me as I have now become. 

5) I remember them from tiniest of the memories. Sometimes, I wish I forget them forever and carry on with my life. Which is a good option. No one is harmed with this decision. 

6) sometimes I think that I made wrong choices and I should go back. But I shouldn’t go back. Because, I believe, no one should.

7) Given, these points from the analysis. I found, that the only way for happiness and peace of mind is, I should take responsibility for my actions. I am accountable for what happens with my life and I should accept this reality.

8) Unless I #DealWithIt, I can’t be happy. Because every now and then such things will try to make me sad. I am very much prone to negative thoughts. I should #ForgiveMyself for my mistakes. I should accept myself as I am and make peace with it.

What do you suggest my dear reader?

After Near Death Experience #BeThankful

Life is a series of miracles. Usually we do not recognize these miracles because they are wrapped in the form of regular life. But when we meet with near death experiences, we tend to see how beautiful life is.

From what I have observed in my life, I have come to believe that we humans are very ignorant about the value of life. I got fortunate to have interacted with many of my colleagues on this isaue. Almost everyone of them had a thrilling story to share about their near death experiences. Some of them had survived the accidents, some of them had survived the illnesses and some of them were saved from possible deathly situation in miraculous ways. When they told their stories they often ended by saying, “That day I got a new life with God’s grace. Had their been a small mistake I would not exist today. That day I learnt the #ValueOfLife.” Sadly enough even after having gone through these situations, those people seemed to have forgotten the important #LifeLesson. 


We humans are very forgetful. Forgetting is a bliss in many cases. However, eventually we tend to forget everything. 

Yesterday my boss at the office survived from a near death experience. From what she told, the car in which she was traveling was completely damaged in the mishap. She had survived from the accident at one of the most deadly roads in entire country. When she came back to office, she was more thankful to God than ever. The shadow of death had touched her mind but couldn’t engulf her soul.

I have survived from many such accidents. Sometimes I feel that if life were a game, I have used all my lifelines. I care a lot about avoiding accidents these days. After surviving one of the accidents, I decided to celebrate the fact. I called my girlfriend and invited her for the small party. What she told me while we were having dinner gave me a new perspective on life.

“Congratulations on surviving yet another deathly accidents” she told. “Am very thankful to God for saving the love of my life. When something like this happens, I tend to love the fact that am living. Otherwise, on most days, I compare my life with others and feel sad that I have not succeeded yet. But when I hear about near death experiences, just the fact that am living is enough for me to cheer me up.”

Later on she said, “it’s good that we are celebrating today’s occasion. You have returned safely from the mouth of death. But do we need a reminder like these to make us #CelebrateLife ? Why can’t we celebrate very often?”

In my humble opinion, life is a miraculous sequence of events. It’s futile to try and understand how life works. The simple fact that we are alive is not simple at all. Talking scientifically, living every another second is a big struggle. Every second our body undergoes lots of changes; fights millions of bacteria and viruses. Life is a struggle at every moment. Thus, when we wake up every morning, we wake up after winning a battle. 

What do you think about it? 

Everyone Has Got A Story #Listen

It’s not easy to understand someone. Because it involves a very important aspect of personality- habit of listening. This is the secret of a happy, successful and fullfiling life.

I saw two senior citizens waiting for someone at the entrance of the jogging park. When I was about to complete a first round, I noticed that the person they were waiting for had arrived. The trio of senior citizens looked too familiar with one another. It seemed like they were college time buddies. Now, they were in their late sixties. The person who came late was giving some explanation, I guessed he was giving reason behind the delay. It was just another situation, however, today it triggered the chain of thoughts in me.

How many of us really like to #Listen? How many of really put themselves in someone’s shoes? How many of us let someone #Explain the situation and not be angry at the first chance.

In one of the novels I have read, a writer has explained life as series of stories. Each story interlinked with another like a web. Each story having some consequences  that impact someone else.

It’s important to listen the story which a person has got to tell you. If a delivery boy did not arrive on time, he has #GotTheStory. If the person forgot to do something for you, he may have got a story. Everyone has got a story to tell. If you give some attention and keep some #Patience you may give someone great relief. You may end up making someone feel happier, better and stronger.